Saturday, May 9, 2015

Marriage Study 1/3 - part 1

5/08/2015

1 Corinthians 7:12-16
12 But to others I am saying, not my Lord, if there is a brother who has a wife who is an unbeliever and she is willing to stay with him, let him not leave her. 13 And whichever wife has a husband who is not a believer, and he is willing to stay with her, let her not leave her husband. 14 That man who is an unbeliever is sanctified by the wife who believes, and that woman who is not a believer is sanctified by the husband who believes, otherwise their children are defiled, but now they are pure. 15 But if he who does not believe separates, let him separate. A brother or sister is not in bondage in such cases. God has called us to peace. 16 For what do you know, woman, if you will save your husband, or you, man, if you will save your wife?

Warning
If someone honestly finds Paul's letters confusing still, or thinks the law is done away with, then without going to God, this study is pointless and will lead to all the wrong conclusions. If someone cannot read Romans 7 and see that it comes to a conclusion into Romans 8, this study likewise is unto destruction rather than edification. (2 Peter 3:15-16) May God's will be done.

1 Corinthians 7:12-16
12 But to the rest I speak, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away (leave her - G863).

13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him (put him away - G863).

14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

15 But if the unbelieving depart (separate - G5563), let him depart (separate - G5563). A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

G863: leave (put away)
http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G863 

G5563: depart / separate (from) / put asunder / create a divide / cause a bond to be broken
http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G5563 

1 Corinthians 7:10-11
And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart (separate - G5563) from her husband: But and if she depart (separate - G5563), let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away (leave - G863) his wife.

Reconciliation implies the restoration of an effectively broken bond by man's doing. It's not that he can't break it but he should not, for that is not the will of God. That was never God's intent from the beginning as He instituted marriage. The hardness of one's heart is unapplicable to a believer in Christ (one who knows the law), and who can say, "the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death." (Romans 8:2) What is contrary to God's will is contrary to the law of God and is sin to be repented of. 

Context/audience indicators:
"Now concerning the things whereof you wrote unto me..." (1 Corinthians 7:1)
"And so ordain I in all churches." (1 Corinthians 7:17)

_______

Romans 7:1-3 (KJV)
1 Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law), how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? 2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. 3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

Romans 7:1-3 (Aramaic Bible in Plain English)
1 Or do you not know, my brethren, for I speak to those who know The Written Law, that The Written Law has authority over a man as long as he lives, 2 As a woman is bound by the law to her lord as long as he lives? But if her husband is dead, she has been freed from The Written Law of her husband. 3But if while her lord lives, she shall leave for another man, she becomes an adulteress to him, but if her lord should die, she has been freed from The Written Law, and she is not an adulteress if another man should have her.

(scratching head)

Mark 10: 2-12
2 And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away (let depart - G630) his wife? tempting him. 3 And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? 4 And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away (let her depart - G630). 5 And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. 6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. 7 For this cause shall a man leave (depart from - G2641) his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; 8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. 9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder (separate - G5563). 10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. 11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away (let depart - G630) his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. 12 And if a woman shall put away (let depart - G630) her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

G630: put away (let depart)
http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/Lexicon/Lexicon.cfm?strongs=G630
G2641: depart (from) / leave behind / forsake
http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/Lexicon/Lexicon.cfm?strongs=G2641

The consequence of G863 / G630 is G5563 (?)

(Note to the reader: this is a personal study, not a teaching).

Matthew 5:31-32
It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away (let depart - G630) his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away (let depart - G630) his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced (put away / let depart  - G630) committeth adultery.

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Case:
An unbelieving woman has had 5 husbands. Not that they had all died but let's say she had left them all (and they are all still alive). Then she meets the Messiah Jesus. She renounces her life of sin, receives the remission of her sins and becomes a child of the Most High God. Must she then find the first man who had been her husband 20 years ago and who is halfway around the world to be reconciled with him (in the sense of returning to be is wife again) or else remain unmarried (according to 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 and Romans 7:1-3)? Jesus affirms that she presently has no husband, as is also her own understanding (ex: John 4:17-18). Again, this was an unbelieving woman. Her heart is only now upon obeying God. If she must redeem herself or pay the price of not having upheld the law of God in her past, then Jesus would have died in vain for her, being unable to wipe away all of her sins. The remission of her sins would have been partial. But such is not the case. All her sins are washed away. If the Son has set her free, then she has been made free indeed. Free from sin and also free to be married to Him first through his Spirit, and free also to be another man's wife, only in the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:39). She has died to the law that she did not know but yet was accusing her. 

Romans 7:4-6
Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God. For when we were in the flesh, the motions of sins, which were by the law, did work in our members to bring forth fruit unto death. But now we are delivered from the law, that being dead wherein we were held; that we should serve in newness of spirit, and not in the oldness of the letter.

The sin and wish of many perhaps well-meaning believers is to apply the word of God to his children to unbelievers who may pass as Christians, who are yet to have come to true repentance and faith and a new life in Christ. How will they who are living in sin, like adultery, hear the law and return to their spouse when they have not obeyed the gospel (1 Peter 4:17)? A brother or a sister will show mercy and longsuffering to the measure given him/her, and forgiveness absolutely, but not without discernment to the point of being under bondage to a rebellious person through diverse seductions. And how can a believer bring two or three witnesses to establish a matter of sin (e.g. adultery) regarding an unbeliever, or bring the issue up before the assembly (church) to judge upon it? How do you bring a sinner to be judged by a body of believers, according to Matthew 18:15-17? And do we ever get to conclude concerning a "professing" believer: "let him be unto you as a heathen and a publican" after following the due process? Do we sometimes long to yoke together light with darkness when we have been called out of darkness and to peace, and when clearly the darkness has not been willing to (come) dwell with us? We do many misuses of the scriptures when our thinking the best of someone, even our refusal to count the cost of following Christ and correctly discerning our circumstances clouds our discernment of the fruits that others bear. And then we can find ourselves effectively under bondage on the account of an unbeliever (1 Corinthians 7:15), and under the bondage of our own ego. We become heroes in our bondage and seek our honor through fair speeches through which we deceive ourselves to keep our undenied ego together with all its underlying resentment and wrath. We do tempt ourselves. In contrast, we have such a calling as this: "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you" (Matthew 5:44). All of the above, but one's loyalty is to the Lord first. When you build your whole life around your loyalty to someone who is neither loyal to you nor to God, you make an idol of such loyalty, not discerning the will of God, and not considering the whole counsel of God. You know you put yourself under bondage for selfish reasons when you cannot do God's work or grow in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ because of it. If you are listening to a seducing spirit, it will speak many other things to you than to make an idol of a person and of your honor concerning your perceived heroic stance in your situation. Different are the degrees of suffering that different persons can bear. When we ignore this and command things not according to the measure of faith, we do tempt ourselves even when claiming we can do it all through Christ who strengthens us. We can be deceived to do the good that appears the most noble in the sight of man and miss God's plan in the whole process. I am specifically addressing the situation of a brother or sister waiting for an unbelieving departed G5563 spouse to return to him/her, in many cases, leaving an adultery. May the whole counsel of God be considered, rather than the loudest voice of men that is pro-marriage. God also is pro-marriage and pro-family and pro-children. And his will is perfect. Let no man deceive you. But let every (true) believer be convinced in his own mind concerning a separation G5563 according to the measure of his faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.

Again, Romans 7:1-3 (KJV)
1 Know ye not, brethren, (for I speak to them that know the law), how that the law hath dominion over a man as long as he liveth? 2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. 3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

Those who have the Holy Spirit (who are in the Lord) are fully equipped to be husband and wife for life. If they had trusted in their own righteousness and committed iniquity, they can turn away from it and do what is right. That is the expectation. But such cannot be the approach towards an unbeliever with a heart of stone, even if we once thought the world of him/her and considered him/her sweet. It further becomes foolish when unbelievers try to use scriptures for selfish reasons when faced with marriage decisions. It is likewise foolish when the word that is applicable for one is read concerning two parties (a believer and an unbeliever). The church can only enforce the law on its own, not on the world. It is the Spirit of God who brings people in the world to obedience to Jesus. But if through all that chaos of misapplying the word of God a way to repentance is found for even one, all the glory be to God! The word of God brings the best or the worst out of people, showing their true inclinations. He is a God of mercy and He stands above the foolishness of the world and the misuses of his word by deceived and broken hearts. 

And Jesus teaches us against the idolatry of people...
Matthew 10:37-39
37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. 39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.

What could it mean to have "forsaken wife" in the following scripture? (Why would not a wife forsake all like her husband forsakes all to follow Jesus? And then that husband would not have needed to forsake his wife to follow Jesus... That is an ideal situation and only that.) 

On the other hand, is Jesus condoning divorce? No, He is not. Prayerfully, discern your circumstances and the will of God.

Matthew 19:27-29
27 Then answered Peter and said unto him, Behold, we have forsaken all, and followed thee; what shall we have therefore? 28 And Jesus said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That ye which have followed me, in the regeneration when the Son of man shall sit in the throne of his glory, ye also shall sit upon twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 29 And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.

G863: forsake, leave (put away)
http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexicon/lexicon.cfm?Strongs=G863

This is nearly too much for me, but this is the most pressing need of persons who do not have the Spirit of Christ and are not his (Romans 8:9), who are destroying marriages and families with no remorse as they are fulfilling the lust of their flesh (1 Corinthians 7:9-11), pursuing the lust of their eyes and the pride of life, having never known nor loved God: their need is to find forgiveness of their sins, to be justified by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. They need to repent, not of their particular sin that may be affecting us (a brother or a sister), but repent, period: return (come) to the Lord in truth, be found by God, come alive to God. It's all about Him, not us, not what we have done. Then can the law be established from that point forward as the Lord directs, for the love of God and not for our sakes; and also it is not applied retroactively. If the old man/woman is dead, then he/she is truly dead. And that soul is truly a new creature.

Romans 3:31
Do we then make void the law through faith? God forbid: yea, we establish the law. ☞ ☞ ☞

Reminder:
Romans 2:12-16
12 For as many as have sinned without law shall also perish without law: and as many as have sinned in the law shall be judged by the law; 13 (For not the hearers of the law are just before God, but the doers of the law shall be justified. 14 For when the Gentiles, which have not the law, do by nature the things contained in the law, these, having not the law, are a law unto themselves: 15 Which shew the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and their thoughts the mean while accusing or else excusing one another;) 16 In the day when God shall judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ according to my gospel.

Warning
If someone honestly finds Paul's letters confusing still, or thinks the law is done away with, then without going to God, this study is pointless and will lead to all the wrong conclusions. If someone cannot read Romans 7 and see that it comes to a conclusion into Romans 8, this study likewise is unto destruction rather than edification. (2 Peter 3:15-16) May God's will be done.

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