Suicide can never pass as martydom for Christ's name's sake, due to erroneous discernment. "Suicide by cop" remains a suicide, which is murder of self, in addition to a homicide possibly being committed, which is also murder. "Suicide by spouse" also shall be called suicide in applicable cases. And murder of self shall not be called self-denial nor martyrdom for the cross' sake, even as an additional homicide is also committed against a married follower of Christ.
In marriage between a follower of Messiah and an unbeliever, if the unbeliever is happy to stay with the brother or sister who believes, let he/she not put the unbelieving spouse away. "For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?" (1 Corinthians: 7. 16) If a believing husband or wife is so given such a ministry (being found by the Lord when already married), and just does not care to save a soul he or she may be closest to, let the Word of God who searches the hearts and reins judge this matter in righteousness.
But if the unbeliver (man or woman) is Pharaoh (stress: IS PHARAOH), and is only happy to "keep" the believing spouse, how then is not God's servant under bondage to wickedness, darkness, the lust of the flesh and of the world, and all unrighteousness? Is the brother or sister called to be in bondage to anyone but Christ? How is this all understood with respect to "Let my people go that they may serve me?" (Ex: Exodus 8:1) I remark that there is a lot of "doing" in serving God. It is not merely a state of mind where you know who you "really" belong to. I further remark that what hinders that "doing" constitutes then bondage. If for instance you must (or willingly do) break the Sabbath for anyone's sake, led to do your own things or someone else's own things on the Sabbath, then who is your master?
I find Paul appealing to each one's conscience and judgement as led by the Holy Spirit concerning some of these marriage matters involving a believer and an unbeliever.
He issues a "command" from the Lord to them who are married in the Lord (both the man and the woman, referred to as 'brother' and 'sister'):
1 Corinthians 7:10-11
10 And unto the married I **command,** yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11 But and if she departs, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
And to the rest (different situations) he "speaks" his own judgement as a man, who has the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 7:40).
1 Corinthians 7:12-15
But to the rest I **speak,** not the Lord: If any brother has a wife that believes not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13. The woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he is content to live with her, let her not leave her husband. 14. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified in the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified in the husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15. Yet if the unbeliever departs, let there be separation. The brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace.
In all your hearing, make sure you hear God and not man.
5. Get wisdom. Get understanding. Don't forget, neither swerve from the words of my mouth. 6. Don't forsake her, and she will preserve you. Love her, and she will keep you. 7. Wisdom is supreme. Get wisdom. Yes, though it costs all your possessions, get understanding.
Is it God's will that marriage be bondage in some cases? Is marriage greater than God so that it can negate or handicap one's freedom to serve Him?
These cases exist and the will of God is not unknowable to those who seek Him. I see no exception for marriage in the things that one may have to separate from (forsake) for the sake of serving Christ.
What is "wife" doing in that list?
Matthew: 19. 29.
And every one that has forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.
Ask yourself honestly. Seek understanding to honor God's will rather than to put your name on a doctrine once you're comfortable that you fit nicely in it.
Is Jesus saying divorce your wives so you can inherit eternal life? Is he condoning divorce? No, He is not. He hates divorce and the violence of it (Malachi 2:16). He says who finds a wife finds a good thing (Proverbs 18:22)...
There is a calling each one is to answer and an election to be made sure of, that should be the top priority of every soul in this life:
61. Another also said, "I want to follow you, Lord, but first allow me to say good-bye to those who are at my house." 62. But Jesus said to him, "No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the Kingdom of God."
Did that man have a wife that loved him at his house possibly? And if he did forego of going back to his house, what would he then have come to understand?
Matthew: 22. 14.
For many are called, but few are chosen.
2 Peter: 1. 10.
Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall:
Matthew: 13. 44.
Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto treasure hid in a field; the which when a man has found, he hides, and for joy thereof goes and sells all that he has, and buys that field.
Back to the marriage. As in every situation, whosoever puts a stumbling block before the children of God, it would be better for him/her that a millstone be hanged to his/her neck and that he/she be thrown into the sea... (Matthew 18:6) Knowing that "everyone who commits sin is the bondservant of sin" (John 8:34), does that say something about God's heart concerning the influence they may have and use to bring and keep into bondage his servants He had set free to serve Him?
How does all this apply to marriage when we remove the blinders?
A marriage cannot constitute a bondage necessitating ***redemption*** and be God's will at the same time.
Those who will abuse their situation and the scriptures they unrighteously hold to be applicable to their situation and decide to do their own thing will always abound, but no one should use the word of God deceitfully to serve their own lusts, even to preserve their pride in their own understanding.
"whatsoever is not of faith is sin." (Romans 14:3)
"Therefore do not be unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is." (Ephesians 5:17)
1 Corinthians: 7:20-23
20. Let each man stay in that calling in which he was called. 21. Were you called being a bondservant? Don't let that bother you, but if you get an opportunity to become free, use it. 22. For he who was called in the Lord being a bondservant is the Lord's free man. Likewise he who was called being free is Christ's bondservant. 23. You were bought with a price. Don't become bondservants of men.
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The exception clause is not what most want it to be. Fornication is not adultery nor marital unfaithfulness. That is a hard saying. Few can hear it.
(2015-10-01 edit: Fornication is not adultery nor strictly marital unfaithfulness during the betrothal period of the Jews.)
9. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. 10. His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. 11. But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.
Both true believers and those that are not Christ's (Romans 8:9) will use this scripture in their preferred flavor to break or to attempt to preserve a marriage. Those who have the commandment should guard it (keep it) and act accordingly. That is the love of God.
But this matter of the brother or sister not being under bondage as the unbelieving spouse departs (chooses to separate) begs its own questions and answers. Ask, seek and knock.
2 Timothy: 2. 15.
Give diligence to present yourself approved by God, a workman who doesn't need to be ashamed, properly handling the Word of Truth.