"A misunderstanding of Matthew 5:28 has driven many into vicious cycles of guilt, condemnation, and defeat.
“But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh upon a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” (Matthew 5:28)
At first glance, it seems that most of humanity is in a whole lot of trouble!
But what was Jesus’ intent?
The issue that Jesus was addressing in Matthew 5:28 was adultery, and He was referring to a specific condition of the heart. Biblical adultery is to defraud another man of his wife, either in a physical (sexual) manner, or even simply in an emotional manner. Intent is sufficient for this violation to take place. A sexual act never has to be committed.
Jesus referred to a man “looking” to “lust” after a woman, but He was not referring to just any woman, nor was it just any look. In order for adultery to take place, the woman would have had to have been married to another man (the man’s marital status would be irrelevant). The Greek word “gyne”here used for “woman” is the same word used interchangeably for “wife” throughout the New Testament.
This could be paraphrased:
“Whoever looks at a married woman in a covetous manner (with intent to possess her for himself) has already committed the act (of adultery) in his heart.”
Jesus is referring to the underlying intent of the 7th and 10th commandments in the law of Moses (See Exodus 20:2-17)
7. “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”
10. “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbor’s.”
Jesus brought them to a higher standard through grace than even the written law appeared to require, for this was the true intent of the law. If you have broken the 10th commandment, then you have already, by default, broken the 7th. Jesus always dealt with the intent of the heart. The true source and origin of sin.
What Jesus was not referring to was a man looking at a woman and finding her sexually attractive. Of course, how then would a man assess a future partner? The subject was adultery, and therefore the woman had to be married to another man, and the man had to do more than simply look. There had to be something specific going on in his heart. Something stronger than sexual attraction and arousal, or noticing her physical beauty. There had to be an intent to possess. When covetousness conceives in the heart, intent is birthed. He would take her if he had the chance, even if he never would have the opportunity. Thinking, “I would like a woman like that someday,” is not sinful. Thinking, “I want that woman,” would be wrong, and a violation of God’s law. Intent was sufficient to be guilty of committing this crime against another man, and against God who joined the marriage.
Most men understand this look, for many fights have originated from this particular look. The look that usurps the man’s authority, and breeds disrespect. “I will take her for myself!” Absent this element of intent to possess, most men would be very happy with other men looking at their wives and finding them physically attractive, just like they want other men to admire their homes, cars, boats, motorcycles, and other things, because it reflects well on them. This is not a bad thing in and of itself, for it is a form of honor. It can be a bad thing if it crosses the line into covetousness, disrespect, and intent to possess. To admire a man’s car for instance, is one thing. To contemplate stealing it is something else entirely. One is honorable and the other is dishonorable.
For this reason, Matthew 5:28 does not apply to the issue of pornography, masturbation, or sexual desire. But we should use wisdom, common sense, and walk in honor and respect toward others. For example, what would be the result of indiscriminate sexual activity? Babies without fathers in the home, and many other pitfalls. God is not against sex, but we should know how to possess our vessels (bodies) in a way that is honorable before God (having faith and a pure conscience), and man, and He doesn’t want us controlled by anything."
Thomas Woythal
