YesToTheTruth: Struggling with Lust? (Message for Men)

To lust after a woman means to desire that woman. That's the plain original meaning of the word "lust." It is a neutral word. But it has taken the connotation of having an "evil desire," especially of a sexual nature.

Sexual desire in itself is natural and not evil. That's even a basis for a man to pray for a wife. It is God's will that sexual relations should be between a man and a woman who are committed to each other as spouses. Otherwise, it is fornication/whoredom, or adultery more precisely if at least one of the persons is married. And these sins do begin in the heart (Mark 7:21-23). So, desiring something evil or forbidden is what constitutes sin, like desiring (to have) your neighbor's house, your neighbor's car, or your neighbor's wife (Matthew 5:28, cf. Exodus 20:17); entertaining thoughts of sexual activity (desiring that) with random people while seeing them as sex objects is evil as well.

But it’s not sinful for a man to desire the companionship of a woman to love her and commune with her sexually as his wife (1 Corinthians 7:4-5). It’s not sinful for a man to find a woman attractive in a physical sense either (Genesis 29:17). Also, any number of factors, natural or not, can cause a man to be sexually aroused. He has not sinned by being sexually aroused, nor does being sexually aroused have to mean that sexual stimulation in some way that possibly leads to orgasm must follow. It's possible to reason and make a decision about the fact of being sexually aroused. But when a man's sexual desire is directed towards a woman that he is not permitted to have or any random woman that he may be enticed by, then that’s disorderly, and what follows that sin is death (James 1:13-15).

Many men are thus trapped in a cycle of sexual arousal and lust, without love in the picture, nor faithfulness towards any particular woman, and they follow the path of sin without resistance. That is their world and they are actually living in bondage to sin and need salvation from that (freedom from sin).

1 Corinthians 10:6
Now these things were our examples, to the intent we should not lust after evil things, as they also lusted.

All that sinful lusting is coming from having an evil eye (Mark 7:22, Matthew 6:22-23). Jesus taught, "If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it away from you. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell" (Matthew 5:29). The way to do that is obedience to the truth that purifies the heart (1 Peter 1:22, John 15:3). That means complete surrender to God and that happens in true repentance, when a person approaches God to have a relationship with Him. And when a man has committed his life to God, he also has the understanding that he belongs wholly to God and he will not put evil things before his eyes (Psalm 101:3), nor dwell on stumbling blocks that appear in his environment to entice him to sin. He will take a firm stance against all that is not pleasing to God. God who sees clearly what the desire of his heart is will strengthen him by his grace to resist temptations to sin, if he has the willingness to go that way (away from sin) and really live for God.

James 4:8
Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

God supplies by his grace all the power we need to live for Him (Titus 2:11-14, Romans 6:1-2, 12-15, 1 Peter 4:1-3, 2 Peter 1:2-11, James 4:6-10). His grace saves us from the power of sin and brings us to a new life (Romans 6:4; 2 Corinthians 5:17) where we can always exercise self-control, which is a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).

Please see this post with information that will help you overcome (Revelation 2:7):
Freedom From Sin

Peace to you!

See also:
Christian Women, Lust and Sexual Purity