This is a response to a post on Captain Bud Sturguess' blog titled
Christians, Discuss: Is Unrepentant Porn Addiction Grounds For Divorce?
"I would feel safe to say that if a married person indulges in pornographic material, they're committing adultery." - Captain Bud Sturguess
I agree with that statement.
Fornication on the other hand is a word synonymous with 'whoredom' (in the Old Testament in particular), and the phrase 'committing fornication' can be substituted with 'whoring' (applicable to both men and women). The perpetrator is called a whore (woman) or a fornicator/whoremonger (man).
It's a sin, a transgression of God's law. And when it involves a married person, adultery is also committed.
Now back to lusting after a woman in one's heart in Jesus' teaching (Matthew 5:28). I understand that that is referring to a man coveting his neighbor's wife (a married woman). Hence, this results in adultery.
On a side note, I also understand that all sins essentially flow out of the heart, including fornication (Mark 7:21), so one can be guilty of that, too, without any sexual contact. That's my personal conviction and maybe something for unmarried people to ponder on as pornography addiction does not spare them.
Your discussion question now: Is unrepentant porn addiction grounds for divorce in Christian marriages?
(Prayer time-out...)
OK, I am back.
I believe the right entry point for me here is to echo your reminder of the place of mercy and forgiveness in a marriage. And I will make it official also that we are discussing an adultery case. So, I will refer to the married person who indulges in pornographic material as adulterer. Mercy should be extended to that person as such.
We are also assuming two people who have married each other believing they are both Christians. The reason I say that is that these sins of the flesh like adultery and fornication point to someone who is caught in Satan's snare and not walking with God, in the light (1 John 1:5-7). The apostle Paul said such persons will not inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9, Galatians 5:19). That is the "present" status of that person with God.
So, that's a sister having issue with an adulterous brother or vice-versa. Jesus tells us what I believe should be happening in that case:
Matthew 18:15-17
15 “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ 17 And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.
Therefore if there is still no repentance after these merciful efforts are exhausted, Jesus calls for disfellowship from the person who is to be regarded as "a heathen and a tax collector". That's an unbeliever, an unrepentant sinner. The church is to have no fellowship with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14-17). That's one strong guiding principle.
And in the marriage context, this takes us to consider the case of a brother or sister being married to an unbeliever. The fact that all these attempts to restore the marriage would have failed, resulting in an unrepentant adulterer still, I believe the offender has expressed his/her unequivocal unwillingness to remain married to the sister or brother. And guiding principles are given to us in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 for a brother or sister married to an unbeliever.
So, while the Scriptures give us clarity on many things to consider, your question is not a yes or no question to me. I personally believe a brother or sister should exercise long-suffering and not initiate legal separation (divorce) from his/her spouse. But prayer and fasting have their place in each person's seeking of direction in such a situation, and God's ways and thoughts and purposes must be sought diligently by the servant of God and submitted to. His direction is always available!
Lastly, a note on 1 Corinthians 7:15. It reads, "But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases." It's interesting to remark that the word translated "departs" in that verse is the same word (G5563*) translated "put asunder" (KJV) or "separate" in Jesus' teaching:
Matthew 19:6
So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.
Another rendering of 1 Corinthians 7:15 could then be: "But if the unbeliever separates himself, let him separate himself; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases."
And since we have assumed that the adulterer was once a saint, I want to highlight also that I hold the position that such unrepentant sinner is also a spiritual adulterer and has effectively turned to unbelief as demonstrated in his/her ongoing disobedience/rebellion against God's ways (Hebrews 3:12, 6:4-6).
I appreciate the exchange, brother, and likewise your spirit. You've ended with many questions but I think walking in the Spirit, we might arrive at all answers. We should not attempt to legislate these situations with do's and don't as God is perfectly capable of doing that as He had done under the Old Covenant but has left that out of the New Covenant, leaving us with these questions also. But for sure He has not left us in the dark!
May we always remember these:
Romans 13:8
Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law.
1 John 3:14-15
14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love the brethren. He who does not love his brother abides in death. 15 Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.
I pray these reflections may serve others dealing with a case of hatred (absence of love) in a marriage.
Peace to you!
_______
* See Strong's Concordance entry for G5563: https://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/Lexicon/Lexicon.cfm?strongs=G5563&t=KJV
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