You can repent as many times as you can be truly sorry about the sinning that got you to the place of needing to repent. But anytime you would not be truly sorry would not count as true repentance. And going back to the same sin would be proof of that.
Let's say a woman has a husband who has been unfaithful. Then he comes and apologizes and says he is truly sorry and his wife forgives him. Is it a right mindset for that man to ask his wife how many more times he could cheat on her again and "repent" to get back again like everything is good? I don't think so. Even if that wife has a big heart and would find it in her to forgive that man even many times, something is not right in the marriage/relationship between these two people. Especially, the conduct of that man shows that his heart is not on loving his wife and protecting his marriage and family at all cost. He is double-minded. It's like he regrets getting married.
So, when we come to Jesus, it's like we get married to Him spiritually. And He expects our faithfulness to Him as much as we can expect his faithfulness to us. It's all out of love. This is the way we are called to approach God:
James 4:7-8 7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
We can't be double-minded about agreeing in our heart to live our life in submission to God, to no longer seek pleasure in any deliberate sins (knowing right from wrong and still keeping on choosing to do wrong). When we turn to God, we leave behind any mindset that we can get close to God while still continuing to sin, because sin itself is what keeps us separated from God (cf. Isaiah 59:2). A life ruled by sin is what Jesus saves us from, so life as a Christian (follower of Jesus) is not a cycle of going on sinning and repenting.
The idea that sin goes on and on in Christ is not from the Bible.
Matthew 1:21 She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.
Acts 3:26 To you first, God, having raised up His Servant Jesus, sent Him to bless you, in turning away every one of you from your iniquities.
2 Timothy 2:19 Nevertheless the solid foundation of God stands, having this seal: “The Lord knows those who are His,” and, "Let everyone who names the name of Christ depart from unrighteousness."
1 Peter 4:1 1 Since therefore Christ has suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves likewise with the same mind: for he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin; 2 That he no longer should live the rest of his time in the flesh to the lusts [desires] of men, but to the will of God.
Romans 6:4-7 4 We were buried therefore with him through baptism to death, that just like Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, so we also might walk in newness of life. 5 For if we have become united with him in the likeness of his death, we will also be part of his resurrection; 6 knowing this, that our old self was crucified with him, that the body of sin might be done away with, so that we would no longer be in bondage to sin. 7 For he who has died has been freed from sin.
1 Thessalonians 4:1-8 1 Finally, then, brothers, we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more. 2 For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus. 3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from fornication; 4 that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, 5 not in the passion of lust [evil desire] like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. 7 For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. 8 Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.
2 Peter 1:2-4
2 Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, 3 as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, 4 by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust [evil desire].
James 1:13-16 13 Do not let anyone who is tempted say, "I am being tempted by God" because God is not tempted by evil, and He Himself tempts no one with evil. 14 But each one is tempted when he is drawn away and is enticed by his own lust [evil desire]. 15 And after lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. 16 Do not deceive yourselves, my beloved brethren.
The word “lust” means “desire” as a verb or a noun. But a negative connotation has become attached to the word “lust” over time. If you listen to most prominent ministers of Christianity talking about lust and people struggling with lust, they are speaking about something they regard as a sin along with anything that may be connected to it. So, “lust” meaning “desire” has taken the sense of “evil desire” (no need to use the adjective “evil” to qualify that lust). And the sense has also been narrowed to only refer to a desire of a sexual nature. But the same word could be used to discuss the case of someone who has a “crazy” uncontrollable craving for cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, or to collect dolls or toy cars, etc., hence an addiction to those things. So, people struggling* with sexual immorality (fornication / whoredom, adultery, pornography watching...), they all fall under the same umbrella of struggling with lust because of the sexual connotation attached to the word “lust” almost exclusively nowadays. This is how the issues are discussed in mainstream Christianity and that understanding helps set aside irrational discourses on lust that may keep people feeling condemned and mind-boggled and trapped in many lies.
* "Struggling" here means continuing to be overcome by sin and not yet able to overcome sin and walk in freedom from sin, which is what salvation in Jesus is about (John 8:36, Romans 6:4-7, 14, 18). That's the bottom line. Ultimately, the Christian life is about overcoming sin (1 John 3:6-9, 5:4, 5:18), not "fighting" sin and temptations to sin. And that's because the grace of God is power given over sin (Romans 6:14). Great power. Divine power. It's good to focus on that reality that must be experienced as a promise of Jesus and not be focused on a fight that will be with no end, without having the right weapons of war to begin with.
Following are various notes to help Christian women reach and maintain sexual purity.
MATTHEW 5:28
Jesus taught that if a man lusts after a woman (a wife/married woman), He has already committed adultery with her in his heart. That's what is taught in Matthew 5:28. It must be a married woman (someone else's wife) for adultery to be committed. If the man himself is a married man, adultery would be committed likewise but in that verse the woman was the focus. And all that applies the other way around also. A woman lusting after (wanting to have) another woman's husband would be committing adultery likewise.
Otherwise, by the same principle of sin beginning in the heart (Mark 7:21-23), fornication (whoredom/harlotry) could also be the sin committed by someone who regards men/women as sex objects for instance and desires to have them (have sex with them) in a context void of love or of any commitment toward such persons.
Keep in mind also that experiencing sexual attraction toward someone, or simply being sexually aroused (whatever the trigger may be) are not in themselves sinful. God does want people of opposite sex to have an interest in each other sexually, and primarily for the purpose of procreation.
LUST DEFINED -- FOR WOMEN
To lust after a man means to desire that man. That's the plain original meaning of the word "lust." It is a neutral word. But it has taken the connotation of having an "evil desire," especially of a sexual nature.
Sexual desire in itself is natural and not evil. That's even a basis for a man/woman to pray for a wife/husband. It is God's will that sexual relations should be between a man and a woman who are committed to each other as spouses. Otherwise, it is fornication/whoredom, or adultery more precisely if at least one of the persons is married. And these sins do begin in the heart (Mark 7:21-23). So, desiring something evil or forbidden is what constitutes sin, like desiring (to have) your neighbor's house, your neighbor's car, or your neighbor's man/husband (Matthew 5:28); entertaining thoughts of sexual activity (desiring that) with random people while seeing them as sex objects is evil/sinful as well. That's outside of the godly ideal of one's commitment to one's spouse on a foundation of love and faithfulness.
MASTURBATION -- MAN/WOMAN -- SEXUAL URGES/CHALLENGES -- ISSUES DEFINED
Masturbation is a sin if you are choosing to do it to gratify the desires of your flesh and feed an addiction, when you know you should have resisted the urge and denied yourself instead (Luke 9:23), calling upon God for help as needed (Hebrews 4:15-16). The repeated failure to deny oneself a gratification of the flesh is how addiction starts to begin with. Then self-control is lost. Any addiction points to something being an idol in someone's heart. And God will always regard that as a sin.
We don't have to go along with the temptations that the devil sends our way. In fact, we have to be alert to recognize those and submit to God and resist the devil (James 4:7-8). We are entirely responsible for what we do (James 1:13-15, 1 Corinthians 10:13), and of course, we are accountable to God for everything we do. Even all our thoughts/imaginations must be in submission to God (2 Corinthians 10:5), because it's out of the heart that sin comes from (Mark 7:21-23). We need to strive to keep our heart pure (Matthew 5:8, James 4:8, 1 Timothy 1:5) and not entertain any sinful fantasies as those that may accompany masturbation.
We are also not to be controlled by our sexuality in any way. We can pray and seek God about our challenges and we can indeed be in that place of perfect peace where God gives us sufficient grace to live for Him the way that most pleases Him (2 Corinthians 12:9, Titus 2:11-14) and according to our faith.
Romans 14:23b ... Anything that is not done in faith is sin.
Please listen to this message for a strategy you can follow to overcome sin/be set free from addictions (as applicable): Self-denial and Taking up One's Cross to Follow Jesus (Mark 8:34) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8bpFtD31FU
IMAGINATIONS -- WOMEN (PRIMARILY) -- LUST -- FANTASIZING
Note that the mere thought of having sex with your future spouse isn't any more sinful than the thought of being pregnant one day and of having children. But if you are addicted to/obsessed with such thoughts, that reveals that something is an idol in your heart, something that has your affection more than God Himself. And if you are fantasizing about sex with random people you may feel attracted to, then you need to be fighting against that and striving to keep your heart pure (Matthew 5:8, James 4:8, 1 Timothy 1:5). It's not impossible. Nothing is impossible with God. So, if you want to be free from being controlled by your sexuality in any way, possibly until you have a husband, you can pray and seek God about that. There is no need to see marriage as a "savior" from a hopeless situation until that time comes. That's not how you should see or live your life as a Christian. You can be in that place of perfect peace where God gives you the grace to live for Him as a fully functional single woman (not lacking anything). And when a man would come to be your husband, it will be a bonus to the blessed and balanced life you would have already had based on your relationship with God.
LOOKING AT "CUTE MEN" FOR TOO LONG
Looking for "too long" is the key observation. There is nothing wrong with the acknowledgment of "cuteness," but after looking for 5 seconds, a seed can be planted in your heart to have thoughts that Jesus wouldn't want you to be dwelling on. Therefore, recognize your "triggers" and learn not to make excuses for what is inappropriate and sinful. You have to have the discipline to cut the sight short or shift your focus as needed, and pray always. If you know that being married is in your purpose, then you should be praying to be in every way the woman God has intended for the man who will be called your husband, and for him to find you at the appointment time and be ready as well to become your husband. I have a male's perspective but I think you may be dealing with the same reality.
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Cleaning up your physical space is a good exercise. It helps you see in 3D what things you may be attached to in a spiritual sense and that may serve you nothing. Keep what you need, donate what may serve another and get rid of the rest. Let then what is essential be tailored for its most usefulness and effectiveness.
If you want newness in your life, you must make room for what you want to come into your life. If you're going to turn a page, do it cleanly and completely. That is, when you get to what you call the new, you must not hold on to any shadow of the old. Some can more easily than others turn life stories into history, whether it is with another person in a relationship, a job, even a house, etc., but these times come when pages must be turned, when new chapters need to start, and we may not right then be fully aware of the affection we have towards things that belong to a day passed. And that is a state of delusion: the failure to fully grasp what the new reality is and to embrace it while correctly placing in the past what belongs there (not trying to "save" what must be put behind). And this can happen even when the turn is fully within our control to make.
Without effort or much thought, we can erect monuments or allow monuments to remain standing in our lives (for a memorial) that only takes space and to which we allow easy access to come and occupy our thoughts. That is disorder. Indeed, some have moving on down to a science and it may profit them well (unless it's about escaping responsibility, for instance), but some simply don't have it naturally to let things go and move on. To the latter, I want to encourage you to love the truth and to be quick to assess and acknowledge your reality, but not only that, to not waste time living in two worlds even passively. That is, you may not be actively or consciously looking towards the past from the point where you are in your life, but you allow things from your past to come pay your mind a visit for no useful purpose anytime they please. Yes, that is disorder.
It takes some time to clean up space, whether it is physical or emotional space. It takes some time. But it's a job that needs to be done like any other job. It requires clarity on what is not in order and a determined effort to reach that state of order and readiness of the new space in your life for new things, new people and new experiences to come in.
It's total submission to God that is necessary rather than will power. Your will "power" needs to be in your willingness to totally submit to God (James 4:7-8).
Your attitude as you approach God is very important and will determine what kind of result you get. The real power to live the life that is pleasing to God will be given to you by the grace of God (Titus 2:11-14). It's when you are humble before God and weak in your own eyes that you will cry out for his deliverance and then He will make you strong by his power (e.g. 2 Corinthians 12:9). You have to take your "self" out of the way to follow Jesus. He said it like this: "If anyone wants to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me" (Luke 9:23). Not many are willing to do that. And that's why not many are getting any practical results out of their faith.
False teachings do not lead people to follow God's precepts. Thus, many want to wave a magic wand rather than approach God the way He has prescribed (e.g. James 1:21-22), being willing to repent genuinely and stop living for themselves (Romans 6:4-11, 2 Corinthians 5:15). One of those false teachings is to "trust" in a particular result of having faith in God while doing nothing and believing that Jesus did it all (video). It's very popular. "But why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do the things which I say?" (Luke 6:46) would be Jesus' question to those believers who call their faith a conviction that requires them to do nothing. Essentially, they are believing that faith without works (of faith) is not dead (comp. James 2:26, Galatians 5:6, 1 John 5:3). But they do need to strive to enter through the narrow door (Luke 13:24), and God will energize their dilligent efforts (Philippians 2:12-13).
There is a lot of baggage that may come with the world's idea of "will power." And that's not what the Bible teaches to those who want to follow God's ways. They only have to be "willing" to wholeheartedly obey God in all if they love Him. And if that's will power, that's real power!
1 Corinthians 1:27-29 27 But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; 28 and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, 29 that no flesh should glory in his presence.
I find this to be quite a thought-provoking image. To the Christian (follower of Jesus) light bulb, I say, "Make sure you stay connected to Jesus, abide in Him (John 15:4-6; 1 John 2:28; 1 John 3:6, 24; 1 John 4:13), and never unplug yourself from Him through disobedience (1 John 3:6). That's keeping your faith (Galatians 5:6). That way, you will keep on shining as planned (Matthew 5:14-16, Ephesians 5:8-10) —rather than be sinning." And to those who have neither socket, nor wire, nor plug, don't marvel that I tell you, "You must be born again. And you will receive these all at once and pass from darkness to light (Acts 26:18, 2 Corinthians 4:6, Ephesians 5:8)."
Matthew 5:14-16 14 “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. 16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.
The condition for the name of someone who is saved to remain in the book of life is to overcome.
Revelation 3:5
He that overcomes, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I will not blot out his name from the book of life, but I will confess his name before my Father, and before his angels.
Reminders:
Luke 13:24
Make every effort to enter in through the narrow door. For many, I tell you, will seek to enter in and will not be able.
John 15:18-20
18 If the world hates you, you know that it has hated me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love its own. But because you are not of the world, since I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. 20 Remember the word that I said to you: 'A servant is not greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will keep yours also.
Matthew 10:22
And you will be hated by all for my name's sake: but he who endures to the end will be saved.
Acts 14:22
... we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God.
1 Corinthians 9:24-27
24 Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. 25 And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. 26 Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. 27 But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.
Being born again does not mean you have overcome when all is said and done, because all is not yet said and done. You have trials you will go through for your faith to be tested and you'd better "put on Christ" and be overcoming in them. So, we must be overcomers today and continue to be overcomers until Jesus comes. That implies listening to all the exhortations made to believers in the Bible and doing all the things commanded to us for a victorious walk with the grace of God (Titus 2:11-14, Romans 6:14).
Anger is not a sin in itself but it can be sinful (for instance, anger "without cause"): Matthew 5:22
Anger can be provoked: Colossians 3:21
Anger is exhorted against: Ephesians 4:31, Colossians 3:8
Anger should not be allowed to become sinful (for instance, giving place to hatred or wrath or any other sin opposed to the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23): Ephesians 4:26-27 Romans 12:18-21
But anger is justified against wickedness (evil/sin): Mark 3:5 Matthew 21:12-23 Ephesians 5:11 Galatians 2:11-13
And God's judgement against sinners¹ will be the final expression of his anger against them and thus his justice will be served: Psalm 7:11 John 3:36 Romans 1:18 Jude 1:14-15 2 Thessalonians 1:3-10
1. That's sinners who do not repent and get converted as God has commanded for salvation (Acts 2:38, Acts 3:19, Acts 17:30-31, Acts 20:20-21). That's people who cannot speak of a transformation by God's power as highlighted in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 or Titus 3:3-7 for instance, thus remaining on the wrong side of the contrast Jesus will make in the end according to the word in Revelation 22:11-12.
Asking to receive and seeking to find can be intertwined.
Seeking Genesis 24:10-11 10 Then the servant left, taking with him ten of his master’s camels loaded with all kinds of good things from his master. He set out for Aram Naharaim and made his way to the town of Nahor. 11 He had the camels kneel down near the well outside the town; it was toward evening, the time the women go out to draw water.
Asking Genesis 24:12-14 12 Then he prayed, “Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. 13 See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. 14 May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.”
Being Alert and Watching Genesis 24:15-16 15 Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milkah, who was the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor. 16 The woman was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever slept with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again.
Seeking("being thirsty" lol) Genesis 24:17 The servant hurried to meet her and said, “Please give me a little water from your jar.”
Watching/Waiting
Genesis 24:18-21 18 “Drink, my lord,” she said, and quickly lowered the jar to her hands and gave him to drink. 19 After she had given him to drink, she said, “I’ll draw water for your camels too, until they have had enough to drink.” 20 So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water, and drew enough for all his camels. 21 Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the Lord had made his journey successful.
Seeking Genesis 24:22-23 22 When the camels had finished drinking, the man took out a gold nose ring weighing a beka and two gold bracelets weighing ten shekels. 23 Then he asked, “Whose daughter are you? Please tell me, is there room in your father’s house for us to spend the night?”
Watching/Waiting Genesis 24:24-25 24 She answered him, “I am the daughter of Bethuel, the son that Milkah bore to Nahor.” 25 And she added, “We have plenty of straw and fodder, as well as room for you to spend the night.”
Praising God for the opened door Genesis 24:26-27 26 Then the man bowed down and worshiped the Lord, 27 saying, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of my master Abraham, who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness to my master. As for me, the Lord ***has led me*** on the journey to the house of my master’s relatives.”
Conclusion Seeking to find is not contrary to asking to receive, but rather is complementary. It is done in the context of a prayer with the faith that one will be led the right way. The seeking must be done in faith. It must be guided by one's faith and cannot involve anything that is outside of God's will (sin/disobedience).
Matthew 7:7-11 7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 8 For every one that asks receives; and he that seeks finds; and to him that knocks it shall be opened. 9 Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? 11 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!
James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.
Topics related to this post: prayer, faith, patience, perseverance, finding spouse, finding wife, finding husband, relationships, Christian, dating, matchmaking, marriage.
